Don't worry about them; you will make more friends in time. I know how you feel, as I was going through a similar situation last year... When I moved schools, my two best friends made new friends, and they moved on pretty quickly. I felt the same way as you do right now. I thought I'd never make new friends, since I'm not the best at socialising, either, but I was wrong, because I DID make new friends, and I AM getting better at socialising. And I'm sure you don't suck at EVERYTHING. I'm sure there's something that you're actually really good at (for me, it's photography), and if not, then perhaps you need to focus more on yourself, and find out what that really is. And I'll bet there's some subjects at school that you're brilliant at! Don't worry too much about it, because it WILL get better, I promise.
"You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!" - John Green
Don't worry about them; you will make more friends in time. I know how you feel, as I was going through a similar situation last year... When I moved schools, my two best friends made new friends, and they moved on pretty quickly. I felt the same way as you do right now. I thought I'd never make new friends, since I'm not the best at socialising, either, but I was wrong, because I DID make new friends, and I AM getting better at socialising. And I'm sure you don't suck at EVERYTHING. I'm sure there's something that you're actually really good at (for me, it's photography), and if not, then perhaps you need to focus more on yourself, and find out what that really is. And I'll bet there's some subjects at school that you're brilliant at! Don't worry too much about it, because it WILL get better, I promise.
"You are going to live a good and long life filled with great and terrible moments that you cannot even imagine yet!" - John Green
Okay, let me be as frank and to the point as the question. People on here are gonna give you all kinds of advice and attention and try to comb your ego a bit to make you feel better or stop you from topping yourself. When it comes down to it realise this:
1) Everyone is **** at socialising. It's all made up. Even the most confident speaker in the world is just saying what people want to hear. If they didn't people wouldn't like listening to them. And - no matter how much they will say otherwise, people often listen to said people with a smile and in their head are thinking ' you are such a c***'
2) People who are worth anything will talk to you and hang out with you because they want to and they enjoy your company - this is a two way street. Act like an a*** and people won't want to see you, crack a joke and don't take yourself too seriously - come up with an interesting convo etc and people will be like ' this person's okay ya know :-)
3) Depression is a psychological bully - and worst of all it's bullying yourself. Sometimes you just have to give that big old ogre a bit of a BACK OFF! and the best way I have found to do that is do something completely random. Last time I felt low I did something daft - I flicked Ice cream off a spoon at targets - OUTSIDE! (I know, mad right?) But you know what it really entertained me and I had a chuckle at it. Best part was my sis came home and caught me (shes younger than me - 23) and she joined in too. - surround yourself with people who actually mean something to you and have fun. Don't let others get you down and tell that mind bully to **** *** :-)
I won't go into scientific detail like these other answers because knowing that your feelings are based on hormones doesn't really help whatsoever. All i can say is that life is pretty messed up. It might be really bad for you right now but it won't stay like this. It's going to get better, but only if you actually try in life. If you just lay around all day being depressed it's not gonna help. You should try to pay attention in school and try to make some new friends because clearly those friends aren't good for you if they all just lose contact with you like that.
Hey, let me give you some real, true advice and I hope that you take heed because I've been there and done that. I am a 37 yr. old female and when I was 14 I became depressed. I was boo-hooing because I didn't have any friends, felt like no one liked me, I had no personality for anyone to like me, on and on and on. But as I got older I realized the friends I thought were my friends we're really not. So I stopped using the 'Friend' word lightly. Through time I hope that you will realize what a true friend is. Even to this day I don't consider myself as having friends, other than my husband 'he is my true friend'. I say now I have associates. Things will get better trust me. It may not seem good right now but things will get better. Spend time finding yourself, what are you good at, what do you love to do. Stop looking on the outside for others to make you feel good about yourself but it's a good time to start looking within. Trust me cause people are funny they will lift you up one day and the next be tearing you down. So you have to look inside and find your inner beauty, so no matter what goes on on the outside you have that firm foundation of knowing who you truly are. Feelings change, remember that, sometimes you have to encourage yourself, find what you love to do, you may meet friends that way, at least you will have something in common with them. I'm a mental health advocate, try to find a support group for teens who are feeling depressed. It always helps to talk to someone. Don't hold this in. And lastly, some people (friends) are only in your life for a season and when that season is up it is time for you to move on.
What helped me out of depression when I was your age was to listen closely to your own thoughts. When you hear an untruth...like you aren't good at anything you try....this can't be true because of the word 'everything'..nothing is all inclusive, so this is a lie. Replace this with I am good at some things... Be yourself and don't worry if others like you or not..some will, others wont, but this is not your burden to carry..it is theirs. Be yourself, don't try to impress anyone...then the ppl who do finally notice you will be attracted to the real you, not some persona you put on like a mask...you can't kiip the act up..so just BE YOU. ...when you focus on what is 'right' in your life this will attract more 'right' to you. There is magic in positive thoughts.
The best advice I can give you is to do you first clearly they aren't friends because they wouldn't act that way if they where even if they say they are whose got time for DAT **** anyway go to the pep rallies go to the dances at school enjoy it while your their its not always going to be this easy for you and if you think its hard now wait until your in the real world and its only a year or two away now if you need to talk hit me up been Thur some of the same **** your groin thur
Advice is subjective to the individual's experience, and has little baring on your own, because we're all biased toward ourselves. What you need to do is figure out what YOU would do about your situation. It's the most difficult thing, but it is also the most rewarding. I apologize, but life has no cheat sheet. All we can do is what we believe is right in the moment and hope we make the best decision. Always try to be the best person you know how to be. You will stumble, you will have regrets, and you will fall flat on your face. But how do we learn not to fail? By failing. By being miserable we learn how to dig ourselves out of it. Everyone has a rough time growing up, and many will tell you their stories, but the thing nobody thinks to tell you is to make sure that you are living YOUR life, and not somebody else's. It is good to hear other people's perspective on your situation, but don't let them decide what to do for you. Get advice to make an educated guess, so to speak. Go forward and be the best person you can possibly be. You are going to fail most the time. You are going to succeed sometimes, and they are going to feel great. Then you'll learn how to fail less, and become that great person you've been trying to be. This is what happens to everyone while growing up.
Always be humble, but don't let anyone force you to eat crow. Nobody should expect a 16 year old to know what they're doing in almost anything, but they will pressure you to do good. You have to separate yourself from the criticism and learn to take it with a grain of salt (meaning you should view each criticism as a wonderful opportunity to better yourself, and add your own spice - or positivity - to it to make it easier to learn from). Like I said, there's no cheat sheet for life. You have to fail a lot sometimes. We all do. We always will. That's just how life is. We all hang on for the love and support of those around us, and eventually for the affection of another. These are things that make it worth it in the end. If you do as I suggested and be the best person you know to be then you will find ways to make good friends and KEEP them, and they will love you, and you will love them for it. Always be positive, always work hard, and most of all always learn from your failures. You seem very self-aware, so I have a huge vote of confidence for you. You will be a great person one day if you keep trying. Please keep trying. The world needs great people.
Side note, to compare this to myself: Whenever I feel I'm walking into a hopeless situation where I'll probably embarrass myself I imagine it cenimatically. The world is crumbling around me, all hope is lost, but I'm still standing and ready to face my demise. It's hyperbole, of course, but do you know what happens when I imagine myself as the comic book hero, or the matyr for my my own life? I do awesome things, and amaze myself. Look to your favorite fictional heroes and imagine how they felt in those most hopeless situations where there was no choice. It's hyperbole and metaphor about life, and the challenges we face in it. Take comfort in knowing you're not the only one that feels that way, and believe that you have the power to make it right. I often feel the same way you're describing right now, so that is why I'm taking so much care in answering. haha
Everyone has a bad day when they feel alone. Make an effort to say hi to someone at school you've never met. You might be surprised where it takes you. But above all remember other people can never validate who you are better than you can. Know in your heart that you've always had significant self-worth a fact that is constantly being reinforced by many of the complimentary responses to your post.
When I was 16 i felt pretty shitty about this stuff but you will learn how to deal with it as u get older and when ur old enough you can move to a place hwere there are like minded people and you will not have to try too hard to make friends. Just focus on things that make you happy say art or music because this will make u an interesting person i the future. If u dont have a hobby try finding one on the internet or get rlly into film or something and talk on forums. Always be open to new friendship.
My daughter is now 25 - but when she was 15 or 16 she said the very same thing to me. I was so worried about her and knew it was time for her to find new friends, people not from school or the same social group, so I looked around our local area. I found out that the Baptist church in our town ran a weekly youth group (they got together, shared a pizza and a game of pool etc - it was aimed at kids from about 16 to 21). Of course when I mentioned to this to her she said 'you must be joking, I'm not a bible basher'! So I contacted the group leader and explained the situation. They arranged for one of the girls in the group to call my daughter and invite her along. It changed her life!! No she hasn't converted to Christianity or taken up going to church regularly (although she did explore that option), but she met a group of fantastic young people who don't ***** or grudge and accepts everyone for who they are - and have loads of great fun social events. She went from being a miserable person to someone who radiated fun and laughter. She became really good friends with 3 or 4 girls in the group - all from very different backgrounds and has stayed in touch with them even now 10 years later. (some of the girls are now married, a few professional, one is a cleaner and only a one or two go to church now) My daughter now has a very successful career, but still says that joining this club and meeting these people - at a time when she (and some other club members) were feeling like social outcasts.
Could you ask your mum to look into this for you? If not, don't be embarrassed or ashamed to get in touch with local churches in your area (Baptist and Methodist tend to be really proactive at supporting young people). I can GUARANTEE that they will be friendly, warm and welcoming - so don't be afraid to ring or email them. Remember - this is just a low moment in your life. Try to imagine how you will be in ten years - maybe happily married, with a successful career, perhaps a baby or two in tow! Never give up on the misery you are feeling today. xxx
Look, this is normal for your age(our hormones are overactive at this age in life), life always gets better, you have to earn it. Focus on one day at a time, what makes you happy today. I listene to some positive music and moved all the furniture in my house. Sometimes you just neeed a change in surrounding and it can alter your mood. You cant be afraid to speak your mind no matter how stupid or daring it might be.I am 26 and went through alot of depression, if you dont take over your depression it will take you further and further into a endless pit. Be happy, start a journal and list all teh good things to happend to you that day or made you smile. If you do this long enough you will learn to see the positive and the negative shall pass. No one can help you escape but yourself. So lift yourself up and Make the best of it. Freinds are not going to pay your bills and most fo those people will be gone seperate ways once you go to college, The world will change for you just make it out of highschool.
Try joining a club you're interested in. That way you will meet lots of people like you with the same interests and it will be easier to make friends. I suggest a drama group, the type of people there are weird and wonderful, they are very friendly and won't judge you, but if you aren't into that sort of thing how about art, dance, cookery, martial arts or music? There are lots of others as well!
Hang in there and stay strong!
Do not depend on other people to make you happy. Find as many activities you are good at doing as possible and do them just because you can. It does not matter how simple they are as long as you feel okay with doing them and they are legal. You will naturally, meet others who enjoy the same activities. You might start by going to a place where people have the same values and belief systems as you have and you will have a few good friends in time. Keep in mind that everything in life changes, people come and people go but you are never alone as long as you are alive, fairly healthy and can look forward to tomorrow's activities. Get out there and make some good memories all by yourself. You will meet friends that way. Best wishes to you.
The most important thing to do at school is learn things that will help you later on in life. You are 16 so you have 60 or so years left to live and just a couple more in school. So you have plenty of time for friends but what you do for your time remaining in school is much more important. You might have some skills that you could develop and most people have the ability to do things that could lead to and happy life if they discover what they are good at and hone those skills. So find out what you are good at and use all of your mental and physical powers to become real good at whatever it is that can make you a success in life. When you are successful and happy it is easier to make friends than when you are depressed. If you are not sure what you might be good at there are counselors and aptitude tests to help you. You also might need some counseling for your depression.
My oldest is the same way. She has maybe one friend outside of the family, and this one friend blows her off all the time. She is depressed and she is now on meds for it and talks to someone on a regular basis. Sometimes all you need is to talk to someone, like a therapist, that doesn't' know you or your family to be able to see the light at the end of it all. I grew up depressed and my parents did not care enough to get me help. It has made it difficult for me as an adult somedays, and now I have 3 kids of my own. Talk to your parents and see if therapy is an option, or talk to a school counselor. The point is to talk to someone. If your "friends" aren't giving you the time of day, to bad for them. I was totally you growing up. I've had to learn to be ok with myself and how to be comfortable in my own skin and like who I am, even though family and others may not. good luck
Just remember you're only human. Not everyone you come across in your life will like you, nor stick with you till the end. One cannot be bad at socializing unless they don't socialize, what is good socializing anyways? Just smile! Have faith, think positive, be happy, talk more, try even harder! Never ever give up.
Have faith put all of your worries your fears everything in God's hands he will help you if you let him. Trust me. I was this way all through high School people picked on me called me freak threatned me and it drove me into depression but something awoke in me and I accepted Jesus into my life and ever since things slowly got better and now I'm happy. You can be too. Your not worthless you are a precious living breathing child of God and the God of the universe gave his one and only son for you because he loves you that much your not **** your not worthless you are royalty because you are a child of God let him help you and take away your troubles.
Hey girl!
Don't worry so much!
Don't be depressed!
You will find friends!That's for sure!
Just believe in your self and socialize :)
Everything will be cool :)
Also you can find social friends ,for example :)
Don't worry, we all feel like this sometimes. Just think about positive stuff throughout your days and that will help. Start socializing and find an in common interest with people who like the same things as you.
Don't worry about it your still young and you have lots of years to meet people and you have many things to look forward to one day you will have close awesome friends and you will wonder why did you ever worrt i went through the same thing now im in college and I feel way more confident and high school doesnt matter now.
Let me tell you something i have observed from my own life. No matter what you are going to lose friends but you can always make new ones. The only thing you can do is be yourself, its understandable if its hard for you to do that because you might be shy around people or are afraid of what they will think of you, the worst thing that can happen is that they wont like you. In which case you should not care. All that matters is you know who you are and who you want to be in life. If you spend your time trying to get people to like you by acting different just to fit in you will lose a lot more "friends". Just be yourself and you cant go wrong.
Why don't you try to enjoy of your own company? I've learnt to enjoy the company of myself and it feels good very good. You can spent the time for your self and learn to love yourself and learn a lot of things about yourself. So if your friends don't even try to hang on you let them go.
I was in a similar situation when I was a teenager. IT SUCKS. But hang in there, and you will get through it. It may seem impossible at the moment, but years from now you will look back at when you were 16 and it will seem insignificant.
Find a hobby to keep you and your mind occupied and off of the fact that you are depressed with yourself. In my opinion, a very helpful thing that you can do is to talk to other people suffering from depression. You are not alone and it is NOT impossible for you to get through this.
I wish you the best!
My advice, take a breath and step back. Don't try and get your old friends back, that ship has sailed. Try finding out more about you and what you like and then try and find people who like what you like or compliment you. If you don't find people like that at school, try facebook or twitter. Better yet, go out there and join a club or something. Never say never.
I fully sympathise. I too was in the same situation.. I still am!! Im 16years old no friends or anything, when I get a new hair colour EVERYONE judges, laughs etc.. its weird to explain isn't it? BUT I talked to a teacher, (my well being teacher) Counseller etc.. They refferd me to clubs outside of school full of friendly people!! I gained a hobby, confidence and friends :) Goodluck you can do it!!X <
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